Where is true happiness… The vast majority of people look outside of themselves as the reason for their sadness or dissatisfaction. Wouldn’t life be great if the important people in our lives would do things how we would like them to or do what we believe is best for them? This is the sort of reasoning that propagates the hopelessness! So, where then is happiness?
I agree that the vast majority of today’s despair focuses on important people in our lives not helping out. Can anyone identify with that? Have you at any point known someone who settled on a choice that placed them in a bad situation? Have you, at any point, had a critical opportunity to move or decide on a career choice with which you did not make the right choice? Did one of your folks ever express something important to you that shook your certainty? Ever had a boss who micromanaged your work and never gave you credit for your excellent work? Anyone of these things can be a source of grief for us, and I’m sure you can add a few others to the mix.
While we think about it, for example, wouldn’t it be great if the people in our life would simply behave in the manner in which we’d like them to, so our lives would be so much better, more joyful and all the more satisfying? While this may be true; what I likewise say is this: While we are occupied with attempting to get those people in our lives to do things our way, the way we try to move others to our way of thinking, sometimes are those that harm, and even, hurt our connection.
You know the things I’m looking at: rebuffing, coercing, grumbling, annoying, compromising, reprimanding, the silent treatment, and on the off chance that we are exceptionally talented, trying to control someone else.
I know one of my progressive practices is nagging. I am a world-class annoyance, simply ask my kids. You know the drill. “What about tidying up your room today?” After thirty minutes, after the child is still on his computer, “Are you going to get to that room today?” Possibly two hours after the fact, a few decibels stronger, “What about that ROOM?” At that point, at extreme dissatisfaction, it is “Will you get off your apathetic a*# and clean your blankety blank room!!!!” Ever been there? Sometimes, it works to get the room cleaned. In my situation, it generally doesn’t.
Notwithstanding, I’ve have had a few guardians disclose to me that continued nagging accomplishes things; but then—at what cost? The price of happiness? What was the cost of getting that room cleaned? To begin with, there was the cost of you losing control and being a person you most likely don’t want to be, and besides, there was an actual cost to the connection between you and your child. Do you accept that afterwards you two will be ready to have a meaningful conversation about anything else? Probably not.
What I am going to say most likely conflicts with what you have accepted as a huge part of your life, and that will be that you, and only you, are answerable for your happiness. On the off chance that you are trusting that something else will distinctively show itself in your life with the end goal for you, at that point, you are working from the outside in, rather than back to front.
I am not here to mention for you to stop what you are right now doing. No point in that. On the off chance that you need to clutch your convictions that when your significant other turns out to be progressively loving, your children increasingly loyal, your boss progressively grateful to you, and you end up taking care of your credit cards, purchasing your first home, and so forth with the goal for you to be happy, at that point, proceed. In any case, for those of us who need to rehearse back to front reasoning, we don’t like to enable others to control our happiness or any of our different dispositions or feelings. We realize that we are liable for ourselves and nobody else. So…let’s get back to happiness…
Happiness… What I can help you with is figuring out how to be the person you want to be, feel the feelings you want to feel, by changing what you do and how you feel about things. There is a statement I need to leave you with from Jimmy Dean. “You cannot alter the course of the breeze; however, you can modify your sails.” This is illustrative of valid back to front reasoning. People and occasions will be what they are around us. There is almost nothing we can do to affect different people’s conduct and the wild events in our lives, yet there is continually something every one of us can do to improve our perception of happiness.